Understanding Aromanticism: An Orientation and Community

Understanding Aromanticism and the Aromantic Spectrum

Aromanticism refers to individuals who experience little to no romantic attraction towards others. Unlike asexuality, which describes a lack of sexual attraction, aromanticism specifically relates to romantic feelings and relationships.

Aromanticism exists on a spectrum, with people experiencing different degrees of romantic attraction. Some common ways aromanticism can present include:

• Feeling no romantic attraction or desire for romantic relationships
• Experiencing romantic attraction very rarely or under specific circumstances
• Enjoying non-romantic relationships and activities without needing romance
• Finding romantic gestures, bonding or intimacy unappealing or uncomfortable

People across the aromantic spectrum may use terms like aromantic, aro, nonamorous or aroace to describe their experiences. Their orientations can also be broken down further into categories like akoiromantic, lithromantic, quoiromantic and more.

Distinguishing Between Romantic and Non-Romantic Feelings

Distinguishing romantic from non-romantic connections can be complicated for some aromantic spectrum people. They may struggle to identify what exactly romance or romantic attraction means to them.

Some characteristics that are often associated with romantic relationships include:

• Strong feelings of attachment to someone
• Desiring emotional and/or physical intimacy with them
• Experiencing "butterflies" around them
• Wanting to do traditionally romantic activities together
• Feeling "in love"

However, aromantic people are still capable of forming strong non-romantic bonds. They may experience deep loving platonic feelings, enjoy non-romantic intimacy and desire commitment without romance being present.

Navigating Relationships and Disclosure

Aromantic people have diverse preferences and needs regarding relationships. Some may happily choose to avoid romance-centered relationships. Others may participate in traditionally romantic activities to please romantic partners, or because they enjoy the companionship.

Disclosure of one's aromanticism is also a personal choice. Being open can help romantic partners adjust expectations for the relationship. But disclosing is not an obligation, especially in casual social situations. Accepting and understanding aromanticism in society still has a long way to go.

Handling Misconceptions

There are many misconceptions about aromanticism that need to be recognized and corrected, such as:

• Aromanticism is the same as asexuality - While there is overlap, they are separate orientations regarding romance and sexuality.
• Aromantics cannot feel love - Love comes in many forms. Aromantics feel non-romantic love and attachment like familial and platonic love.
• Aromanticism is a choice or phase - Aromanticism, like any orientation, is an intrinsic part of who someone is.
• Aromantics are heartless or sociopathic - Being aromantic has no relation to having empathy, compassion or interpersonal skills.

Finding Community and Support as an Aromantic

It can be very isolating figuring out and coming to terms with one's aromanticism. But online and offline aromantic/LGBTQ+ communities provide invaluable support and advice from people with similar experiences.

Some ways to connect with other aromantics and allies include:

• Joining aromantic subreddits, Discord servers, Facebook groups
• Attending aromantic meetups and conferences in your area
• Finding aromantic media representation on YouTube, TikTok and more
• Opening up to understanding friends and family who will support you

While aromanticism is still poorly understood by mainstream society, awareness is steadily growing. By supporting each other and proudly living as their authentic selves, aromantics can gradually shift public perceptions for the better.

Finding Fulfillment as an Aromantic

Though facing discrimination and misunderstanding, aromantics have the same capacity for meaningful, fulfilling lives as anyone else. Examples include:

• Pursuing careers they find engaging and purposeful
• Developing interests that provide enjoyment and self-growth
• Building strong non-romantic relationships with friends, family and community
• Advocating for and educating others about aromanticism

While romance is highly emphasized in society, it is not the sole or necessary ingredient for a happy, satisfying life. By focusing on the connections and aspirations most meaningful to them as individuals, aromantics can thrive.

FAQs

What does aromantic mean?

Aromantic refers to individuals who experience little to no romantic attraction towards others. Aromantics may be uninterested in romantic relationships, activities, and bonding.

Is aromantic the same as asexual?

No. Asexuality describes a lack of sexual attraction to others, while aromanticism relates specifically to romantic attraction. Some people identify as both aromantic and asexual (aroace).

Are aromantics capable of feeling love?

Yes. Aromantics often feel non-romantic forms of love. They form close attachments through platonic, familial, and other relationships.

Can aromantics be in romantic relationships?

Some aromantics happily avoid romantic relationships, while others may participate to please romantic partners or enjoy the companionship. Experiences vary across the aromantic spectrum.

How can I support aromantic friends or family?

Listen without judgment, validate their experiences, avoid forcing romance, and respect their relationship preferences. Don't expect or demand disclosure from them.