The Ins and Outs of Rematching with an Au Pair | Tips for a Successful Transition

The Ins and Outs of Rematching with an Au Pair

Finding the right au pair to care for your children and become a part of your family is so important. When you find that perfect match, you want the relationship to last as long as possible. However, sometimes things don't work out for a variety of reasons and it becomes necessary to part ways. If this happens, many host families choose to start the search again and match with a new au pair, known as "rematching." Here's what you need to know about rematching with an au pair.

Why Families Rematch

There are a few common reasons why a host family may need to rematch with a new au pair:

• Personality conflicts - The au pair and family may simply not mesh well. This could be due to differences in personality, communication styles, discipline approaches, etc.
• Schedule conflicts - The family's schedule may change, requiring different hours, flexibility, etc. that don't work for the current au pair.
• Major life events - Things like a family move, new baby, or job changes can alter the family's needs.
• Au pair homesickness - The au pair may become very homesick and request to cut the term short.
• Unmet expectations - What the family envisioned for the role of their au pair may be different than reality.

While rematching can be disruptive and inconvenient for the family, sometimes it really is the best option to find an improved fit.

The Rematching Process

If you've determined a rematch is necessary, the process will vary slightly depending on whether you matched with your outgoing au pair directly or through an au pair agency. Here are the typical steps:

1. Have an open and honest conversation with your au pair - Explain why you feel a rematch would be best for everyone. Provide ample notice and set a transition period.
2. Contact the local community counselor - If you matched through an agency, reach out to give them a heads up. They can offer advice for handling the transition.
3. Begin your search! - You'll essentially repeat the matching process to find candidates that seem like a better fit.
4. Interview top candidates - Take your time to carefully vet several potential replacements.
5. Make your selection - Notify your new match and have them begin the visa application process if necessary.
6. Plan the transition - Overlap the outgoing and new au pairs for a couple days to orient to the family.

Having a solid system in place will help the rematching process go smoothly for everyone.

Tips for a Successful Rematch

To increase the chances that your rematch with a new au pair is successful, keep these tips in mind:

• Reflect on what didn't work - Consider any lessons learned from your first match as you evaluate new candidates.
• Take your time - Don't feel rushed to replace your outgoing au pair instantly. Thoroughly vet potential new matches.
• Communicate expectations clearly - Be very upfront about your family's needs, schedule, responsibilities, etc.
• Include the kids - Have your children meet top candidates to see their dynamic together.
• Check references diligently - Contact past host families to gain valuable insight about candidates.
• Facilitate a smooth transition - Introduce your new au pair properly and give them time to adjust.

Putting effort into the rematch process will give you the best chance of success with your new au pair.

Mistakes to Avoid When Rematching

Host families should also be aware of some common mistakes to avoid when going through the rematch process:

• Rushing to replace the outgoing au pair - Moving too quickly can lead to another poor match.
• Failing to reflect on issues from the first match - Take time to identify areas that need improvement.
• Not checking references thoroughly - Past families can reveal red flags about a candidate.
• Neglecting to update your profile - Make sure your new preferences are detailed for candidates to see.
• Disregarding your kids' opinions - Your children can share valuable insight into candidates.
• Skimping on interviewing - Take time to properly vet candidates through video chats and in-person meetings.

Avoiding these missteps will help set you up for success when rematching with a new au pair.

Making a Rematch Work

If you've done your due diligence during the rematch process, you can increase the chances of success with some ongoing best practices:

• Communicate frequently - Check in often with your new au pair in the beginning to address any issues early.
• Re-establish household routines - Clearly explain your family's preferences around schedules, discipline, meals, etc.
• Show extra patience - Recognize that adjustments take time, even with the best match.
• Ease the transition - Find ways to help your new au pair feel comfortable and supported as they take over childcare duties.
• Emphasize teamwork - Work together to address any problems; presenting a united front with your partner.
• Discuss progress regularly - Set times to give feedback and adjust expectations on both sides.

With good communication, teamwork and empathy, you can make a rematch with an au pair succeed.

Frequently Asked Questions About Rematching With an Au Pair

How common is it for host families to rematch with a new au pair?

Rematching is quite common - industry estimates suggest anywhere from 15-30% of au pair placements result in a rematch at some point. So if you do find yourself needing to make a change, rest assured many families have been there too.

How much notice should we give our au pair if we plan to rematch?

It's recommended to give at least 4 weeks notice to your au pair if you plan to rematch. This allows them time to begin planning travel arrangements, notify the agency, and prepare emotionally for the transition. Ample notice demonstrates respect and good faith.

Can we rematch within the original 12 month contract period?

Yes, you can rematch at any point within your original 12 month contract period with an au pair. The new match would then out the remainder of that initial timeframe. Do check if any agency fees apply when rematching.

What costs are involved with rematching?

With direct matches, there are typically no rematch fees. But agencies often charge fees ranging from $100-500+ to rematch. Check your original contract. Travel costs would also apply to bring a new international au pair. Expect about $1000-2000 in additional rematch expenses if going through an agency.

Should we try to make a rematch work or cut losses early?

Every situation is unique, but in general if major issues appear in the first 1-2 months, it's reasonable to consider rematching quickly. But allow a bit more time for minor issues that may work out with patience and training. Use your best judgement on when it's best to rematch vs. power through problems.

How can we boost our chances of success with a rematch?

Reflect deeply about what went wrong, take your time vetting new candidates, communicate expectations clearly upfront, facilitate a smooth transition period between au pairs, show extra patience while establishing new routines, and you'll be setting your family up for success with a rematch.

FAQs

Should we introduce a new au pair slowly or have them dive right in?

It's usually best to introduce a new au pair gradually over the first week or two. Have them shadow your outgoing au pair at first to learn routines. Then slowly transition childcare duties to them. This gives everyone time to adjust to the changes.

What's the ideal overlap period when transitioning between au pairs?

Aim for around 3-5 days of overlap between your old and new au pair if possible. This allows them to transfer knowledge and gives your family time to orient the new au pair before taking over independently.

How can we help our kids adjust to a new au pair?

Talk to your children ahead of time to prepare them for the transition. Encourage them to ask the new au pair questions and express any concerns. Maintain regular schedules/routines to provide stability. And give it time!

What are signs we may need to rematch again with another au pair?

Indicators include recurring disciplinary issues, minimal improvement in problematic areas, major personality conflicts, disregard of your rules/preferences, and ongoing tension or struggles between the au pair and your family.

Should we explain to our new au pair why we needed to rematch?

How much you share is up to you, but keeping it high-level is usually best. For example, "It just wasn't the right fit for our family." Going into details about issues with the previous au pair can set up unfair bias.