How to Trust Again After Narcissistic Abuse

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse refers to the patterns of cruelty, manipulation, and domination that a narcissistic person inflicts on those around them. Victims of narcissistic abuse often suffer tremendous psychological and emotional trauma from this mistreatment.

People with narcissistic personality disorder have an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for attention and admiration. They use and exploit others to fulfill their own needs without concern for the devastating impact this has.

Common Narcissistic Abuse Tactics

Narcissistic abusers employ subtle tactics to exert control, including:

• Gaslighting: Making victims question their own sanity and reality
• Stonewalling: Refusing to communicate or respond
• Triangulation: Turning people against each other
• Insults and put-downs
• Threats and intimidation

This abuse slowly breaks down a victim's self-esteem, boundaries, and trust in themselves and others.

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Recovering from narcissistic abuse and learning to trust again takes time, courage, and self-work. Be patient with yourself and know that you are not alone in this journey.

Cut Off Contact

Ongoing contact with your narcissistic abuser will undermine your progress. Prioritize no contact so you can begin to detach, find clarity, and rebuild your life on your own terms.

Seek Support

The support of others who understand what you've been through is invaluable. Consider joining a support group, seeing a therapist, or opening up to trusted friends and family.

Validate Your Experience

Narcissistic abuse is insidious - victims are slowly trained to blame themselves. Remind yourself regularly that you did not deserve the abuse, and your reactions were normal.

Learning to Trust Yourself Again

In order to trust others again, you must first rebuild trust in yourself and your ability to make healthy choices. Here's how:

Practice Self-Care

Make your needs a priority right now - sleep, nutrition, exercise, and self-soothing activities. This will ground you and reinforce that you matter.

Set Boundaries

Start small by creating boundaries around things like your time and privacy. Boundaries will help you feel more in control of your life again.

Tune Into Your Intuition

Narcissists override our gut instincts. Now it's time to get reacquainted with your intuition and learn to trust those inner warnings.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Unheal thy internal dialogues can undermine you without you even realizing it. Identify and start replacing self-limiting beliefs.

Starting to Date Again

Get Clear on What You Want

It's important to have standards for how you expect to be treated in a healthy relationship. Make a list of your core needs and relationship deal-breakers.

Take It Slow

Rushing into dating before you've done the self-work needed will likely lead to more painful situations. Move slowly and check in with yourself often.

Watch for Red Flags

Early on, pay close attention to any behaviors that seem manipulative, aggressive or inconsiderate - even subtle ones. Don't ignore warning signs this time.

Communicate Your Needs

Practice asking for what you want and speaking up as soon as something doesn't align with your standards. This will help weed out unhealthy prospects.

Recovering from narcissistic abuse requires strength, perseverance, and a commitment to yourself. You have so much love, wisdom and resilience to offer - don't deprive the world of the person you were meant to become. With time and intention, learning to open your heart again is absolutely possible.

FAQs

How do I know if I was in a relationship with a narcissist?

Narcissists tend to be charming early on but slowly undermine their partner's self-esteem over time with cruel criticism, gaslighting, indifference, etc. Other signs include a strong sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, an excessive need for admiration, and exploitative behaviors.

Why is it so hard to leave a narcissistic relationship?

Narcissists use manipulation tactics to foster emotional or financial dependency, making it difficult to leave. Victims are made to feel incompetent without the narcissist. The cycle of intermittent abuse and affection also creates traumatic bonding.

How do I stop blaming myself after narcissistic abuse?

Remind yourself regularly that you are not responsible for the abuse, and your reactions were normal and necessary for self-preservation. Join a support group to see you aren't alone. Look into therapy to work through internalized blame and shame.

What are some healthy ways to ease back into dating after abuse?

Make sure you have done significant healing work first before dating again. Proceed slowly, keep communication open, enforce strong boundaries, pay close attention to red flags, and don't ignore your intuition. Seek support if needed.