The Controversial Tradition of Birthday Spankings

The Controversial Tradition of Birthday Spankings

Birthday spankings have long been a tradition for many families and friend groups. The premise is simple - on your birthday you receive one spank or smack on the bottom for each year you are turning. So if you are turning 10, you get 10 spanks.

While for some this is an innocent and fun tradition, it has also sparked debate around issues of consent and whether spanking children should be acceptable, even in a playful manner. There are also discussions around when children get older, should friends participate in giving the birthday spankings?

The Origins of Birthday Spankings

No one knows for sure how the tradition of birthday spankings began. Some posit it dates back centuries as a folk tradition in Europe. The spanking was seen as a way to purify or exorcise evil spirits and secure a year of health and fortune for the birthday celebrant.

Others believe it began more recently in the early 20th century in the United States. It may have started as a schoolyard prank or hazing ritual among friends before becoming a more widespread tradition.

Participating in the Tradition

For many children, receiving birthday spankings is a fun tradition they look forward to on their special day. The spanks are often given playfully, without much force. Parents will gently pat the child's bottom the allotted number of times while wishing them a happy birthday.

Children often giggle throughout the lightweight spanking. It becomes a bonding experience with caretakers. Younger kids may even compete over who got the most spanks, as more spanks correlates with growing older.

Among friend groups, birthday spankings can take on a more raucous tone. Friends may chase the birthday girl or boy around attempting to land swats on their rear. Some spank with open palms, others with gentle slaps using one or two fingers.

Spanking is usually done over clothing and involves more theatrics than pain. Laughter accompanies the playful chasing and swatting on the bottom. Some friends even keep track of spanks owed if they miss on the actual birthday.

Concerns Around Consent & Appropriateness

While many still view birthday spankings as harmless fun, some experts argue aspects of the tradition should be reconsidered. Critics point out that children cannot consent to being spanked, even in a lighthearted way. They also emphasize that spanking models unwanted violent behavior.

Some child advocates advise parents to reconsider the tradition and find alternative birthday rituals. Others believe gentler alternatives like pats, high fives, or rubs on the head for each year avoid modeling hitting or physical punishment.

With older children, there are also consent issues if friends or peers participate in birthday spankings unsolicited. As kids reach middle school and high school age, many feel traditions like group spankings should fade away to avoid peer pressure and unwanted touching.

Weighing Family Tradition vs. Modern Views

Ultimately, attitudes around birthday spankings vary enormously based on family background and cultural upbringing. Many defend them as an innocuous tradition akin to pinching someone if they forget to wear green on St. Patrick's Day.

Those who were spanked for birthdays growing up often continue the tradition with their own kids. They argue it is done with care and intended as a silly ritual. undo meaning into a time-honored tradition.

But those who feel spanking promotes violence generally reject the practice. Some allow alternative methods like pats or high fives to celebrate another year while avoiding hitting or spanking. Others drop the tradition altogether as society's perspectives on spanking shift.

Does the Tradition Have a Future?

Given decreasing support for corporal punishment and spanking, birthday spankings are likely to continue falling out of favor. But for those who associate it with fond childhood memories, resisting change can be difficult.

If the tradition persists, consent should be front and center. Recipients must give actual enthusiastic consent, especially as they get older. Assuming it is okay until told otherwise does not suffice.

With the younger generation taking a stronger stance against physical punishment, the days of assuming birthday spankings are okay appear numbered. But only time will tell if this controversial tradition manages to survive into the modern era.

FAQs

How did the tradition of birthday spankings start?

The origins are unclear, but some believe it dates back to European folk traditions intending to bless the child for the year ahead. Others think it began as a schoolyard prank or hazing ritual in 20th century America before becoming more mainstream.

Is spanking children for their birthday considered abusive?

Overall, child experts recommend avoiding spanking children in any context. But in families where it is done very lightly as a tradition, most do not consider it abusive if the child understands it is a game and feels comfortable saying no.

At what age should the tradition stop?

Most experts recommend phasing it out by ages 10-12 at the latest. Continuing birthday spankings into the teen years can feel inappropriate given consent concerns and developing bodies.

What are some alternatives to birthday spankings?

Families are finding new traditions like giving high fives, pats on the head, or tickles for each year. Others opt for birthday punches on the arm or spanks given by gently tapping a spoon.

Are birthday spankings illegal?

In most places, lightly spanking your own child would not be illegal. But some argue spanking children without consent models inappropriate behavior. Spanking someone else's child without permission could qualify as assault.