How this Mom Found Time for Intimacy During the Pandemic
The Challenge of Finding Privacy with Kids Around
Many couples struggled to find private time together once pandemic lockdowns started keeping families confined at home. With kids out of school and every member of the household under the same roof around the clock, it was difficult to carve out couple time without disrupting the whole family. One mom, named Jamie, faced this challenge but came up with a creative solution that she writes about.
Jamie's Unconventional Approach
Jamie admits that in the past, she felt more comfortable being intimate with her spouse when their kids weren't home. However, at a certain point during the ongoing pandemic, she decided to try a different tactic. Rather than waiting for rare moments when the kids happened to be occupied elsewhere, she simply started telling her 8-year-old son and 11-year-old daughter when she and her husband planned to have sex. According to Jamie, her son's response was "Have fun and make good choices," while her daughter said "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
Potential Benefits and Drawbacks
Jamie's method seems to have worked well for opening communication in her particular family dynamic. It established clear boundaries and expectations around privacy during those times. However, such an approach may not suit all families and could lead to unintended negative consequences if not handled sensitively. While being open could help reduce stigma, discussing sexuality too explicitly with young children is generally not recommended by experts. The age and maturity of the kids along with the existing parent-child relationship would need careful consideration before adopting a similar policy.
Finding Time for Keeping it Hot Subscription Boxes
One way couples can try carving out private time even with kids home more is through using special "date night boxes". Services like the KEYWORD Subscription Box aim to help couples reconnect and reignite passion through curated packages of intimacy-enhancing items, activities, and inspiration delivered regularly to their door. Having a box to look forward to opening together could be a fun way to set the mood for intimate evenings. The boxes also provide novel workshop and tutorial content for couples to experience together through the mobile app.
Striking a Balance with Tact and Creativity
Overall, Jamie's story highlights how the pandemic has challenged many relationships but also inspired new perspectives on communication and intimacy. While directness may not be appropriate in all families, her success suggests with tact and creativity, couples can find solutions that work for their dynamic even in difficult circumstances. The key seems to be openly discussing needs and boundaries with understanding, respect and care for all household members. With compromise and teamwork, families can support each member's well-being holistically including that of the relationship.
Expert Views on Discussing Intimacy with Children
To gain perspective on discussing intimacy with kids, I reached out to clinical psychologist Dr. Susan Bartell. She cautioned that while openness is ideal, explicit conversations are generally not advisable for young or pre-teen children. "Kids this age are learning social and relationship skills. Discussing parents' sexuality could confuse boundaries and their developing sense of identity," she explained. Instead, she recommends focusing parent-child interactions on building trust and respect through age-appropriate conversations. Another expert, family therapist Emma Finn, agreed privacy and discretion are important. However, she acknowledged Jamie's approach may work in special cases like very open-minded families where children are already exposed to topics through media or peers. Overall, she stressed assessing children's comfort levels and tailoring the message to their maturity rather than mandating secrecy that breeds stigma and confusion. With care and judgment, families can discuss intimacy respectfully without violating children's innocence.
Finding the Right Balance for Your Family
In conclusion, there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to communicating about intimacy around children. While complete secrecy may not be realistic or healthy, explicit discussions are usually not appropriate for young kids either. The solution lies in assessing each family's unique dynamics, the children's ages and temperaments, and establishing expectations through calm, caring talks calibrated to their level of understanding. With creativity and teamwork, families can support all members' wellbeing holistically including parents finding time for nurturing their relationship even during challenging times.